Do you want that to go?

If you follow me on twitter or viewed my blog before, you know by now that I work in the restaurant business.  Let me remind you that it not very fun.  But lately I've been brewing a thought in my head.  What if I opened a restaurant of my own?  What will it the atmosphere be like?  What food will we be serving?  Those are the general questions that comes along with it.  It not like I'm gonna go out and open one right now.  This is just my fantasy restaurant.  The places I've been to in this town of mine, have been mostly the same.  There a couple of stand out ones but generally the same.

It got me thinking when I saw a show on the Food Network.  The focus on the show was about bacon.  They featured a restaurant called Slater's 50/50.  I immediately wanted to fly out to California and try their delicious burgers.  It was nothing but food porn.  The waitresses were good looking too.  What was unique was their menus.  If you were ordering a burger, instead of telling the waitress, you can just check off on the menu what you want on the burger, then hand it to the waitress.  I thought that was a brilliant idea.  That way if they fuck up your order, it either your fault or the cooks.  I wanted a place like this.

So what will my restaurant be like?  First off, this place will serve shitloads of bacon.  Actually it gonna be one of the main ingredients in almost every meal.  Shit how about cooked bacon as a appetizer?  Fuck yeah right?!  Come on who wouldn't that.  It gonna be a sports bar as well.  That a given.  Bartenders will be mostly female.  I want this place to look unique as well.  Maybe put up funny memes on the walls.  Like the "I can haz cheezeburger" cat.  Or whatever popular at the time. 

Name foods after celebs.  Charlie Sheen been in the news recently.  Why not give him his own fucking burger.  Call it "The Winning Burger" or "The Bi-winning Burger".  The double rainbow ice cream.  Ice cream that loaded with rainbow sprinkles.  Shit like that, that funny!  Also this place will have food competitions.  I want Adam Richman (from Man vs Food on the Travel Channel) to visit and accept whatever food competition that we offer him.  Maybe have custom food challenges.  I haven't tried out every restaurant in this town but pretty sure none of them have any food competitions.

Not sure about entertainment.  Maybe a DJ once in a while like on holidays.  NO BANDS WHAT SO EVER!  Sick and tired of listening to cover bands.  DJs are cheaper and can play better music.

God damn it, I wanna see some titties!  Mardi Gras just happened this pass weekend, so why not have a mardi gras party with beads flying around.  The girl with most beads can eat free for a day.  This town is "family friendly".  Please, there practically a bar on every corner.  If titties being shown will scare away the old folks then they can fuck off.  Also for the lousy tippers out there, maybe we could put their faces on the walls or their names.  A reminder to tip well.  Unless they have solid evidence that a waiter or waitress is a lousy employee.

These are just some of the ideas i got floating in my head.  Working in a restaurant business shouldn't have to be so god damn lame.  I'm sure there a places out there just like the one that I would want to create one day. But there is certainly none around here.